, , , , ,

100 Happy Days – Day 33
Nice walk with my mom and my dog Rose (my mom even went along the sand and up the hills) 

I am feeling torn.  I do want a new job, but when I think about it I get scared.  I hate feeling this way, but I don’t know what to do about it.  I am so afraid every time my phone rings.   Honestly I don’t know what to do.
I have a feeling that the jobs that I actually want (one is an office clerk – just filing etc) I will not even be considered for because I am “overqualified”.  I applied for the job didn’t I?   I even made a note that I’d be willing to take a lower salary.  I do not want a demanding job.  I want something I can just go in and do and then go home and not be insanely stressed every day.  I put enough stress on myself so I do not want a stressful job.   My stomach goes in knots whenever I think about it.   I feel that by doing this I am letting myself down and letting my family down (even though they don’t know that I’m feeling this way)

Just scared. (and tired of being scared but I don’t know what to do about it)