100 Happy Days – Day 53
Lovely family time with my parents clearing up the summer decorations from the yard.
I guess I should be thankful that I seem to be having more good days than bad lately. But today I’m feeling anxious. The fear of a new job has been hanging over me. It’s strange, I am not afraid of the search, but I am afraid of actually getting a new job. I don’t even know how to talk to my family about it because I know they won’t understand. Right now I feel like I could throw up and I feel like hiding under a blanket and crying. And because I’m having these feelings, I feel like I am disappointing them since they so much want me to find a new job. (I know they don’t mind me being at home, but those feelings of disappointment and failure are creeping in.)
I really wish there was someway to get help, but since I have no medical coverage, there isn’t.
AHHHHHHH, god I hate feeling this way.