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100 Happy Days – Day 53
Lovely family time with my parents clearing up the summer decorations from the yard. 

I guess I should be thankful that I seem to be having more good days than bad lately.  But today I’m feeling anxious.  The fear of a new job has been hanging over me.  It’s strange, I am not afraid of the search, but I am afraid of actually getting a new job.  I don’t even know how to talk to my family about it because I know they won’t understand.  Right now I feel like I could throw up and I feel like hiding under a blanket and crying.  And because I’m having these feelings, I feel like I am disappointing them since they so much want me to find a new job. (I know they don’t mind me being at home, but those feelings of disappointment and failure are creeping in.)

I really wish there was someway to get help, but since I have no medical coverage, there isn’t.

AHHHHHHH, god I hate feeling this way.

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