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I am scared out of my mind to find a new job.  I could understand being nervous, but I am so scared I feel like I want to throw up every time the phone rings.  I don’t want them to call.  My unemployment benefits are running out so I know I need to find something.

I don’t think I could every work retail – I need to have a consistent schedule.  But even for anything I am just so scared.  I have never really had a great place to work, so I don’t even really have any positive associations with the workplace.  I don’t want to go back into that kind of environment.

I don’t know what to do about it.  I know my parents wouldn’t understand.  I just keep bottling it up.  It’s like it is looming over me so I sometimes I even have trouble enjoying days.  The other night I actually cried myself to sleep.

I hate this!

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